5 Miles!

Yes, that's right. I conquered the beast. For weeks, I knew that the big 5 mile run should happen. I hit 4 a few weeks ago and have been happily running along having achieved that goal. But the big, never before conquered or attempted, 5 mile run had me anxious.

This morning (after bringing the girls to Breakfast With Santa and hearing that Emily's Santa gift had an additional request, naturally) I got on the treadmill with NO goal in mind, other than to run. My run started off great...everything was going the way it should. The girls were playing nicely with one another, the dog was sleeping, the husband was at basketball so I just kept on going.

Once I hit mile 4, my usual breaking point, I decided to try to get to 4.5. A half-mile after you've done four doesn't seem so daunting. And by the time I got to 4.5 I figured I might as well go the distance. And 5 miles and 55 minutest later, I had done it! I was SO PROUD.

Running always gives me a chance to clear my head, and be quiet. I just feel the rhythm of my body running and I can just be in the moment, which is feeling more and more like a gift. Today I kept thinking, even after battling an eating disorder, surviving the toll that college took on my body in a variety of ways, putting my body through pregnancy and childbirth, nothing has shown me just how strong and capable I can be. Running has finally been the mirror to reflect just how strong I really am.

What a Week

Yikes, what a week this has been. Emily was out sick for most of the week, ending up at the docs for a UTI. I've had a horrible head cold and am currently in the process of losing my voice (not great for a school counselor/mom!). Top it all off, Andy is back in full-time basketball coaching mode.

But I made a goal for myself at the beginning of the week. My goal was to run 14 miles this week. This has been a goal for 3 weeks and I continue to fall short. But this week, my incentive was to use a new i-tunes purchase as my reward for completing 14 miles. Breaking it down into a 4 mile day, then two 3's, then one 4 seemed doable.

And I'm on track! Tomorrow is my last 4 miles of the week, and I sure as hell am going to do it, despite the sickness and crazy schedule. Running has been an amazing source of strength for me. If I can conquer my run, I can do anything.

Morning Run

I did not run on Sunday, which is typically my day for my long-ish runs because that is the day I usually have the most time.

However this Sunday I was a little off my game because of the huge margarita I had the night before. Night out with grown ups is always fun, but I definitely paid for it yesterday and the mere thought of running wore me out!

So, instead, I got up at 5 this morning, slept-walk my way to the treadmill and pressed start. My body was so confused and I felt like a robot trying to tell my arms and legs how to move. I slogged my way through the first mile, then moved a little faster through the second, and by the time I got to mile 3 I was in the zone. Unfortunately by that time it was time to hit stop and hit the shower.

But now, I am at work and feel like a million bucks that I already ran a 5 K today! The feeling of satisfaction, pride and accomplishment that I feel after a run is the only motivation I need to get up and get running!

Run, Beth, Run

So I've decided on a goal. I am going to run the half-marathon next summer at a race hosted by my mother's accounting firm. 13.1 miles. I believe I can do it. And honestly, for me, that is half of my battle! I'm starting to slowly increase my mileage now so that by the time next July rolls around I'll be ready.

I'd like to say that I will start Week One of training now and go by the book for 12 weeks, but with my life there is NO way I will be successful doing that. Between work and raising two lovely girls, I'm happy to sneak a run in when I can! So I figure slow and steady is what helped me lose 20 pounds in 2 years, slow and steady helped me train for a successful first 5K, so slow and steady will help me train for this half-marathon.

I'm already proud of myself for setting this as my goal. I've been thinking about it for months, believing I can do it for a few weeks, and now I'm announcing it out loud. No going back now. 13.1 here I come!

Oh, hello blog!

Well we are in summer-mode at our house! It is mid-July and we have been on vacation for a little over a month with another month left to go! What have we done already, you ask? A trip to Storyland with our best friends, a beach trip with Haley and her boyfriend, time at both camps, trips to have ice cream, strawberry picking and time playing outside at home. With another month to go more fun is in store!

Andy had foot surgery on Monday so our plans, as expected, have come to a screeching halt! Lots of time at home because Andy can't be alone for any length of time. I am so thankful for my family and our friends that are pitching in to help us out. With offers of food and playdates for the kids, I couldn't be more grateful.

Focusing

Andy and I have been talking for a while about getting a dog to add to our family. We've gone back and forth on the pros and cons. Andy had dogs as a child and loved them. I never had a dog, but always wanted one. We went to the Waterville Area Humane Society and found a 3 year old beagle named Gus who beckoned us over to his cage with his big brown eyes and even-temper. So, perhaps "Gus whose name will be changed when he lives with us" will move into the Carlton house this week?

All this talk of dogs, the change that is in the air during spring time and the growing up of my babies has got me thinking about my life and what I value. I've had a moment of clarity upon realizing "I could not ask for more." It seems my mind is always on fast forward....to the next house, next city, next degree, next job, etc. It's kind of an exhausting way to live and really only serves to undermine the appreciation for what I already have.

I was on the fast track to finish my clinical counseling license which would enable me to do more individual therapy than can be provided in the school setting. Providing therapy is my favorite part the job that I have right now and I thought (think) it would be great to have a job where that is what I do consistently. But the sacrifices I have to make in order to achieve that license include a 900 hour internship, examinations, another job and an eventual switch away from school counseling into the clinical field.

I just don't know that I want to do all of that for a relatively small change in title and practice. I love my job and I love the school I am at...doing the clinical license means investing in my future should I ever decide to switch career paths. But do I invest time in the present for something I am not sure that I want in the future?

It's March!

I always love turning the calendar on the first day of a month...fresh start, new beginnings. And in today's case, close to spring! Although by looking out our window you would believe it is already spring in Maine with the tiny amount of snow left on the ground after the rain we have been experiencing!

March also signifies getting ready for Emily's birthday. This year she turns 4 years old, and she is quite excited about this milestone. Not only is she one year closer to being ready for kindergarten, but she will be the oldest in her daycare. She adores being a big girl and doing "big girl" things. Yesterday, for instance, when grandma and granddad were at our house for lunch she was being a big girl by cutting up her cranberry sauce with a butter knife. She was quite proud. She absolutely is showing signs of growing up.

But then there are the moments, like at 3 am, when I am reminded of how little she still is. Emily had a nightmare about a skeleton being in her room and came into our bed to cuddle with us. So, even though she can cut her own cranberry sauce, she's still my little girl who needs the comfort of mommy and daddy when she has bad dreams. And I love it.