Focusing

Andy and I have been talking for a while about getting a dog to add to our family. We've gone back and forth on the pros and cons. Andy had dogs as a child and loved them. I never had a dog, but always wanted one. We went to the Waterville Area Humane Society and found a 3 year old beagle named Gus who beckoned us over to his cage with his big brown eyes and even-temper. So, perhaps "Gus whose name will be changed when he lives with us" will move into the Carlton house this week?

All this talk of dogs, the change that is in the air during spring time and the growing up of my babies has got me thinking about my life and what I value. I've had a moment of clarity upon realizing "I could not ask for more." It seems my mind is always on fast forward....to the next house, next city, next degree, next job, etc. It's kind of an exhausting way to live and really only serves to undermine the appreciation for what I already have.

I was on the fast track to finish my clinical counseling license which would enable me to do more individual therapy than can be provided in the school setting. Providing therapy is my favorite part the job that I have right now and I thought (think) it would be great to have a job where that is what I do consistently. But the sacrifices I have to make in order to achieve that license include a 900 hour internship, examinations, another job and an eventual switch away from school counseling into the clinical field.

I just don't know that I want to do all of that for a relatively small change in title and practice. I love my job and I love the school I am at...doing the clinical license means investing in my future should I ever decide to switch career paths. But do I invest time in the present for something I am not sure that I want in the future?

It's March!

I always love turning the calendar on the first day of a month...fresh start, new beginnings. And in today's case, close to spring! Although by looking out our window you would believe it is already spring in Maine with the tiny amount of snow left on the ground after the rain we have been experiencing!

March also signifies getting ready for Emily's birthday. This year she turns 4 years old, and she is quite excited about this milestone. Not only is she one year closer to being ready for kindergarten, but she will be the oldest in her daycare. She adores being a big girl and doing "big girl" things. Yesterday, for instance, when grandma and granddad were at our house for lunch she was being a big girl by cutting up her cranberry sauce with a butter knife. She was quite proud. She absolutely is showing signs of growing up.

But then there are the moments, like at 3 am, when I am reminded of how little she still is. Emily had a nightmare about a skeleton being in her room and came into our bed to cuddle with us. So, even though she can cut her own cranberry sauce, she's still my little girl who needs the comfort of mommy and daddy when she has bad dreams. And I love it.